um. hello.: 2008

For certain people we have certain expectations.

Wonder why this blog sound so emo?

Because I only blog when I'm emo.

Everything felt so shallow. On the surface you say,"Haha I'm fine I'm so happy."

Inside it's the insecurity that's you eating up.

You want people to talk to you. But you have nothing to tell.

You want people to pay attention to you. But they're always busy with other things.

You want people to spend more time with you. But they bid you goodbye at the most unexpected time.

You don't really wanna tell anyone of how you really feel. Because people will get angry. Because you think it's enough of the attention people spared you of, although it's not satisfying for you.

You hate hormone disorders.

Happy=joyous, no accusations, absence of people I dislike and presence of people I like, no emoness.

Just realised that he changed some of my computer settings. Ugh. Sorry but I hate it when something I'm used to gets changed.

None

Gosh.

I can't believe this.

I'm speechless.

Wah

Today is the day of my life's second RM34 earned. LOL. Omigosh RM4 per hour, that's kinda stingy.

I work at a tea art center called Purple Cane and what we have to do is sit and stand around, smile and talk to those uncles who come to have tea.

There's this uncle who came today.

"Eh 你新来的啊？”

“对。”

“哦，叫什么名？”

“思蔚。”

“什么思，什么蔚？”

“思想的思。蔚为壮观的蔚."

“你看起来很斯文。” Oh really. >.<

“是乖孩子吗？” I consider myself am.

“你的华文和英文都说得很流利。” Tq tq *blush*

“你很有那种文学的气质。” Errr....

Oh and by the way I got addicted to some sort of game. I know it's really old (don't say la outdated), but I don't mind. Hate playing it in front of Alan. He's got a smirk which says,"Guess what? You're so stupid." In fact, he's said it aloud. “你知道啊，这个game这一关，我八岁的时候玩一次就过了。”

Ugh.

Accounts Finals today

Aaaaah emo! Now I'm a piece of emo shit. Accounts finals today was not good. I was struggling with a particular question then my ex-teacher(yes she taught me Accounting last semester) walked past. Then she bent over to the girl sitting at my side because she raised up her hand for questions. I don't like that feeling. To ask a stranger(you see, she's not my teacher) questions. I know who she is. But I don't think she remember me.

She was explaining to the girl. "Bla bla bla bla..."

I waited. Then I thought she finished explaining. So I said,"Teacher!"

Oops. Not done yet. So she continued. "Bla bla bla bla..."

I waited. Then I thought she finished explaining. So I said,"Teacher!"

*The whole scenario repeated for a few times*

My doom has come. She turned around, glared at me, looking damned pissed and threw down a word,"WAIT!". Gosh.

Finally, my turn. I apologised. She said it's ok. Then I show her my question,"Is there supposed to be any balance carried down here?". Well I was hoping that they missed that out so I can get some bonus marks. She said,"No, you've got to find another way to do it.". Well I finished that sentence for her. She left it hanging and walked off without completing her sentence. Aaargh that made me fall into an emo state. Okay, my bad. Just wondering why she can spend so much time explaining to the girl next to me and not me. Guess my face just look really disgusting. Sigh.

Wuah

Never felt so shitty before. Finals coming. Aaargh. What do I have to say about finals?

Nothing. I hate Econs.

Disney movies

Missed watching Disney movies. Those that I've watched as a kid. Their songs are great. Any recommendations on where I can download these movies clear and fast? Youtube's too slow to buffer.

Prince of Egypt
Mulan
Mulan 2
Anastasia
The Road to El Dorado

Help

God save me. Trials this Saturday. Finals around the corner.

The Great Outdoors

Rope jumping, brisk walking(eh 5km weih), some shooting ball game, and home for dinner. Everyday. I'm feeling strong. Muahaha. Check out my calves. Muscular. Ah~~the great outdoors.

Self Absorbing

Guess why I like Spongebob? Because I self absorb real lot. I think I'm really tall. Muahaha don't hate me. Now that I see most of my friends with long flowing hair, I wanna grow my hair. Now it's neither here nor there. It's heavenly thick, and it's really irritating when the weather's hot. Can't tie it up. Please grow longer, I missed my pony tail.

I've wasted my holidays. Not a single assignment done. Maybe half done. LOL I don't care. I give up being stressed out. I wanna be myself. I don't wanna make people hate me lalala.

Oh ya and by the way, my dog's wound is healing. Hallelujah!

Ppl Come Grab Yr Pics

Group#1

Group#2

Group#3

Gosh, you know what? Sometimes I think i'm the best photographer.

Dude, I'm tall! Check out my flats.

Lalala~~ Beauty & the Beast

Yoke Kuan & Lin

Happy birthday, Yoke Kuan.

Look Liz! I'm taller than you!

p/s: I've always had that hardened expression on my face

My Dream

I cried myself to sleep last night and I had a dream. I was in an empty classroom after my last few friends bid me goodbye and left. Suddenly, a swirl of wind, and he appeared. He had glorious golden hair, and he looked exactly like Nero from DMC4. I recalled being impressed by Nero's look. I've always said that he's handsome. Lalala whatever. My brain is not clever in creating its own character, so I guess this is it.

"Santozo! Where have you been all this while?". Sounds like I knew him for a long time. Weird name. Szehui's head, what can you expect?

"I've been around the world singing.". He took out his guitar and started playing. Heavy metal music. I smiled, but I don't like it.

Suddenly, the bell rang. In college, there is no bells. However, this is my dream. "Oh gotta rush. Got class.". He lifted his hand and waved. I ran.

How can I ever lost my way in school. I couldn't find my classroom. After going stairs after stairs, corridors after corridors, I gave up. I went into an empty classroom and thought,"Maybe I'll skip Global today."

Again, Santozo appeared. Weird name. He took me to the sunflower field. He bought me candies. He brought me to a lot of places. I forgot. In the end he brought me to a place where people are dying slowly. "One day, we'll be like them.". All I saw was a few Chinese migrants in agony. Why Chinese? And Baby dying from the pain of his right front limb.

Throughout the whole night, the thorn in the flesh did not appear. The word selfish did not appear. Usually, they will. Santozo is not real. He's what my mind created. Sometimes, when you're really heart broken, your mind will create a Santozo to cheer you up.

I'm not dreaming cheating. Santozo is my friend. I look forward to seeing him tonight.

Jonas Park

Lets talk about songs. Tsiyin told me a wonderful thing about The Jonas Brothers and it still made me laugh uncontrollably until now. They sing as if they're CONSTIPATED. LOL muahahaha. Listen to the chorus of Burning Up.

I'm slippin' into the lava
And I'm trying' to keep from going under
Baby, you turn the temperature hotter
And I'm burning up, burning up for you baby

Hahahahah lol Tsiyin you rock.

I use to not like Linkin Park's singing. Because they shouted too much. And they're too rebellious. Listen to Leave Out All The Rest. Fuyoh, they've grown up.

Baby again

I was thinking, if Baby were to die, I would cry myself to the last tear. The infection was really hideous. Blood and pus(eewww). His fur was long so it's hard for us to see what's inside. He stank so bad(the wound) and flies were attacking him. We couldn't stand it any longer so we sent him to the vet, just now. Well, initially we thought if it were some skin irritation, it would heal by itself. It must be painful, because he was limping and he lost approximately 90% of his attacking strength. Most of the time when he's well, he would pounce on us. Now, we can easily push him away.

I was really worried. Maybe he'll be limping for the rest of his life. Or maybe it may be so bad that the pain he'll bear is too much that the vet would have to euthanise him. Noooo. I prayed for a dog, for the first time, so that God will heal him. Although he snaps and pounces all the time, he's still my baby. He's been with us ever since he's six weeks old. Now he's 4 years old. There's a relationship and a bonding. I don't understand why Alan hated him so much.

Baby

I miss my Baby. He's got some infections on his front limb. Apparently, maggots and skin disease. Now he's hospitalized. Get well soon. By the way, the wound was hideous.

Heavenly

A review on having a few friends commenting on my hair being 'damned straight'. Not really straight though. Forget about that. The word damn, I suppose it has something to do with condemning something or someone to hell. Ah yes, in other words, my hair is hellishly straight. LOL. Why not rephrase it? To heavenly straight. Ah~~ this sounds more like it. Next time when I grab hold of someone with straight hair, I shall say,"Wah, your hair is heavenly straight." LOL.

A conclusion I have made for the week

I had my Economics test yesterday. When everything is over, I hear all my classmates complaining,"Shit, shit. Damned hard weih." Lol so happy. Because I know how to tackle most of the questions. Suddenly I feel so pro lol. By the way, whenever I feel good about myself, the results will come out the other way round. It's better to keep a low profile so I also went around shouting,"Shit, shit. Damned hard."

And, Yuet Ley found me! Lol I linked you girl. Still there is this stupid shit lingering around. Econs assignment test is on Monday. Moral report due on Wednesday. And the Ultimate English Research Project on Friday. Apparently we have to make copies of the original articles used. Guess I'm gonna have a hard time printing those junks. Ah yes, and the biblio. Don't know how, but kinda stucked. Conclusion yet to be done. Hope that it would be done lol. Yes~~ and it shall be done.

It's a busy week. Having this Mooncake Festival for kids in church. I'm made to do this sketch thing where I have to go,"Oooh hi Susan! I've been looking around for you!". Then we'll have to do the Barney plus Sesame Street mushy family love theme. Sigh, somehow I just suck in sketches. I don't like it either. They just don't realise it.

Alan is ill. Get well soon, I can't finish your research all on my own. You just need to get well and do the needful. I'm only responsible in tying up loose ends. Really, may God lay His healing hands on you.

It's been a shivering cold week. Rain and rain and rain. I thought I was going to freeze. Then, I was freezing. Finally, I froze. LOL. I always laugh at my own lame jokes. Btw lol, who cares? Camp Rock is showing tomorrow. Yay.

I've always been the kind of girl that talked too much
Been so fed up of the world telling me to shut up
But I have this crap right inside of me
I'm gonna let it show
It's time
To let you know, to let you know

Muahaha this is all after a week's stress. Pardon me. XD

A mixture of thoughts

Feeling kind of gloomy today. Emo(not again!). These days, I'm always emoing. Partly because of a stupid family gathering last night. All attention was given to my cousin, I was being jealous. I just hate being in the midst of these people who thinks that if you're not going overseas to study, you are a failure. They may not say it, but I felt it. I never know how to bring it up because he's going to tell me not to be sensitive. That I know, just wanna get someone to emphatise with me.

During Maths period my teacher mentioned something about someone's death which was supposedly our fellow coursemate. Accident, on his way to his hometown. It did not occur to me that he was someone I know(rather, just recognise his face). I don't even know his name. To link it all up, it is my boyfriend's friend's friend. It was all a while of 'oooh aaah, that's bad...', then I left for break.

It was 3.45pm when I saw Alan walking up the corridor from another entrance. Suspecting that he'd skipped class(or forgotten about having class too engrossed playing cyber games), I waved at him, asked him where he'd been.

He looked at my watch and said,"Oh, Miss Lee let us out early."
(pause)

"A classmate died."
"What? Do you know him?"
"The guy who had lunch with us on Friday."
"Which?"
"The one with long hair."
"Big, fat one?"
"Nope, small thin guy."

I tried to recall. That small thin guy with long hair. They were having lunch, but I wasn't eating. Too busy doing my second argument. My computer was running out of battery and I was swearing under my breath. As usual I was given the 'why are you so frustrated, it's not going to help' lecture. I hadn't really bothered to give that guy another look. But now we all know he's gone forever. The feeling was weird. I don't even know his name.

Alan had this distant look in his eyes. For a moment I thought he was going to cry. I gave myself a deeper thought. If it were someone I knew better that had passed away(maybe friends maybe family), I would have cried myself a river. That guy, where is he going after this?

Frustration

tsk tsk tsk, no idea of what to write for my last argument. I'm drained out of points. Assessments are coming but what I hope to accomplish is to only finish this stupid research. Vanity of vanities, I'm chasing after the wind.

16.8.2008

this is where i placed the piano

my sister

Shirley. This is the front door.

this is the first living hall overlooking the second living hall.

*same*

This is the day my sister had her birthday party. Friends and family came. All was jolly and merry. I don't feel like elaborating. I only wanna post some pictures because Liz wanna see them. Now I realised I look the same in every picture. Swt.

Reply to Liz

Anyways, first of all, Szehui, thanks for having a post about me in your blog!(yea of course, then I can have you to write me another post) hehe... I missed you guys.. Missed those days that you always go to the toilet in schol and wanted me to accompany you.(lol,since it's college, now I don't have to ask for permission anymore, in and out, out and in, toilet here I come!) Missed those days when we talked during the class and the teacher will stare at us.(muahaha about Nanny McFee, High School Musical, Jump In etc etc Gel, Broom and Fat LOL, ya dig?) Missed those days we played 'truth or dare'.(yea now i dare you to date Gel XP) Missed those days we just hang out...(i hang out with you guys at the stairs, they tell me,"No normal students. ONLY prefects.". I hang out with Alan, they tell me,"Oh you slut.Girls should not talk to boys." haha kinda hate those fussy teachers) And i'm telling you, we MUST meet and hang out, ALL of us, this coming gathering!(Omigosh!! What are you gonna use to hang me up?!) I don't care whether you have to lie to your parents but you MUST come! (hehe... joking)(I will come, even if it cost my life!) Cos you're the one who's always missing in action!(now you'll see Szehui the Super in action, i dunno what action, kick punch, pull, pinch?) And all these years, we NEVER meet outside of school before!!(hello, we met in Sunway Pyramid the other day dude lol)

white=Liz
red=Szehui

lalala random

I wanna change my blogskin. I wanna watch Spongebob. I wanna watch The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy. I wanna watch Camp Rock. For a moment I think that The Mummy's mummy is handsome(eewww). For once I realise Joe Jonas's eyebrows are mono(whoa). Suddenly I think Demi Lovata isn't pretty at all(yea right, so I should take her place huh).

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Once again, the day is saved! Thanks to the Power Grim
Adventures!!

Handsome huh? Had a hard time from my dad for that remark.

I swear he had monobrows! Maybe not here.

I'm not hungry I don't feel like eating. Now I realise that M&Ms is too sweet. McDonald's is too salty. CocaCola is too sweet. Pepsi is too gassy. J Co is too fattening. Wendy's is too expensive(maybe,for a cheapo like me).

Pasar malam is too noisy. Home is too quiet.

Lalalala random

I have to submit my first argument on Friday. Citations and quotations are frustrating me.

My research on Spongebob

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Absorbent and yellow and porous is he.
If nautical nonsense is something you wish,
Hop off the deck and flop like a fish.

um. hello.

I Want A Happy Life