The color of passion

I'm leaving for the highlands today. Somewhere out of this world. Somewhere cold. Somewhere green. I wanted to bring my favourite white cot jacket with me. It's in the washing machine. I cry. Boohoohoo!

My mom gave me a red hoodie. "There you go. Now you look like the Little Red Riding Hood."

Thanks, ma. You're awhsoam when you're not scolding me.

Greetings from Sunway Monash University library!

"I'm on my guard for the rest of the world

But with you, I know it's no good

And I could wait patiently

But I really wish you would

Drop everything now

Meet me in the pouring rain

Kiss me on the sidewalk

Take away the pain

Cause I see sparks fly

Whenever you smile

Get me with those green eyes, baby

As the lights go down

Give me something that'll haunt me

When you're not around

Cause I see sparks fly

Whenever you smile"

Taylor Swift, Sparks Fly.

The Snailish and the Sluggurious

About a month ago, my mother caught a really large (gigantic) snail in the park and she kept it in a bucket so that when I come home I can have a look at it.

Two days in the bucket with loads of papaya leaves (yes, snails near my house eat papaya leaves), it died. My father says the change in temperature caused its death.

Hmm. Snails are easy to kill.

A story I heard when I was young. About how snails turn into slugs.

Indeed snails are easy to kill. So God gave them shells so they could survive a little longer.

Some snails thought their shells were a burden, so *whoosh!* they threw their shells away. And they became slugs.

p/s: banana slugs are awhsoam :D they're like melting peeled bananas. Heeheehee!

And when the weather changed, slugs die, and they blame God for changing the weather. Snails die too, but they survived a little longer.

Think of this, shells being our identity. I wonder if I still have mine on.

Trust me, adults are cruel beings

"Mama, look. There's a red ant on the windscreen!"

"Oh."

Seriously,

It takes heart and time to paint a picture which tells stories.

Seriously,

I don't think I have a lot of time.

Seriously,

What am I doing with my degree? Bankers are boring.

Seriously,

I want to paint my lifelong lessons on a wall.

Seriously,

I am a bizarre Christian girl but it seems God makes the best sense out of everything.

Seriously.

*heart*

Have you heard of King David? He is a man after God's own heart.

I aspire to be like him. So I set my heart out on a journey to follow my Lord.

At times I get distracted, and wander away.

And got into a lot of trouble.

Hence, I was lost and broken.

One day I saw His footsteps from afar. So my heart started its journey again.

And when I finally found Him, I know I didn't want to let go of Him anymore.

Catch me flying thoughts

I woke up one day the weather was great. 7.08AM. Ahh the blankets, wrapped like sushi. The fan was turned off. The windows were opened. My good friend was up, drawing on her sketchbook.

Lets go out and walk. I told her.

Okay. *pause* You've not been drawing lately.

Oh yes. I am. Been sketching in my head. Been painting too.

What is it that you're painting?

A cat. A friendly cat. I imagined it to be ginger, with brown stripes. Or white. With patches of black or brown. No. Not grey cats. I've not seen a friendly grey cat.

Me neither.

I've been thinking of a face. Both familiar and unfamiliar. I'm afraid I might forget how he looked like.

Are you going to draw?

My slippers are wearing out. My jeans are so comfy.

What about painting?

I don't dye my hair because it's not how I am meant to be.

You're talking about a Creator?

Yes. Do you realise how people are so dissatisfied with who they are and just who they are?

I suppose I'm happy being just me. I don't wear braces. *smiles widely to show teeth*

I'm just too perfect to go plastic.

You should wax your arms and legs.

Can't you see how the weather changed? I'm preparing for winter.

Ha. Ha. Ha. You're so lame. Please don't tell anyone you know me.

Seriously. Take this quote. "Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, 'Why did you make me like this?'"

*bursts out laughing* So you're saying you're hairy for a purpose.

Exactly-des. I'm preparing for winter.

Is it important to appeal on the outside?

Yes I suppose. But in the long term it's more of the inside. *points at left side of the chest*

So cliche. Give me a cooler answer.

Rejoice always. Pray unceasingly. Give thanks in all circumstances. For this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

How does that relate?

I don't know. If it's a command by the Creator, it must make the creation something. Remember that.

There's something on your mind.

Yes there is. I'm troubled.

Why so downcast O my soul?

Hagin. I want to be Spirit filled. I don't know if I'm so.

And it took you so long to open up.

No one knows me better.

What are your findings?

I opened 1 Corinthians to read Chapter 14, but ended up reading Chapters 12 to 14 instead.

Did you find any answers?

Some. Not all.

You're still troubled.

Yes I am.

Are you going to leave this hanging?

No. I know exactly what I want. I will pray for the Creator to do what's best with me.

You're one closed up cocoon.

The right time comes and I will emerge as a beautiful butterfly.

Will you turn out to be a moth instead?

No. From the very beginning I know I will be a butterfly. You know where my heart is.

*nods* Indeed I do. Do you think it's time yet?

Not so. But soon.

I think (15/1/2011, 9.03PM)

Look at the King's pudding. It's round. It's brown. And it smells... *sticks nose to it* ...mmm so delicious! *hops around, rubs stomach*

Nibble nibble. Munch munch. Gobble gobble. Crunch crunch.

=========================================================================

Mission: Draw on MS Paint.

Status: Failed.

Remarks: Too lazy to turn on own computer. Hogged sister's to blog.

I need inspirations. Thinking of that face which was both familiar and unfamiliar. I want to walk closer to God. I munched on Paul's letters. Actually I have thoughts flying all over. I just don't know how to pen them down.

Maybe I should stick to drawing. Or write bizarre stories. I should start making one up. Heeheehee!

I think (11/1/2011, 12.47PM)

Good books. Good music. Color pencils. Paint and paint brushes. Sketchbooks. Friendly dogs. The smell of wet grass. I like my semester break.

I could stay still. And very still. And just read and read and read. Or just paint and paint and paint. Sometimes I turn the music on. Sometimes I turn it off. Sometimes I write letters. Sometimes I play the piano. Sometimes I run around doing errands for my parents. Sometimes I help out in church. Sometimes I argue with my sister. Sometimes I debate with my parents. Sometimes we sit together and talk about anything and everything.

Come to think of it, I like living life this way. Laid back, super laid back. God first, church first. Why worry? God is in control. Let's go somewhere rural. Buy a plot of land, and do farming. We can plant our own vegetables, keep a dog, and rear chickens for eggs. I don't like the city. I don't like air-conditioned rooms. That's why I like the place I'm living in right now. Right next to the forest reserve. When it rains, the whole place fogs up. The air is cool, fresh and clean. A car drove past, exhaust smoke fills the air, I cursed under my breath.

Just as when I was young I could sit in the library all day reading story books. Now I could stay in my room all day (with the windows open), and read and paint. Until my mom calls me down. Until the church needs help. Then I'll join the fellowship of others. Solitary is good. It makes me think. Nature is a glimpse of how heaven is like. Simplicity gives access to it. If everyone realises how wonderful God is, isn't that great? Questioning is so tiring, don't we all realise?

Non believers question the existence of God. Some Christians are just mere converts. Devoted Christians get burnt out. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. That is the plain truth.

These are just my preferences. Wherever God leads, let me submit to His perfect will. For I know no matter how far my path deviates from my preferences, He has far better things in store for me. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. I'd rather my treasures are in heaven.

Father God,

If You would graciously give them to me, for the new year, I want to pray for Godly wisdom, humility, obedience, great patience, profound inspirations, blasting creativity. Also for the hands of a craftsman, artist, chef, gardener, and a musician.

In Jesus' Name, Amen.

I sad

Note: Aiyo, please excuse the verse.