While you were away,

I knocked into someone's car. And I feel really upset about it.

You told me, "Stay strong. The joy of the Lord be your strength."

And I remembered praying this way, "Father God, let me not forget all the good things You've done for me when bad things happen."

And I did not forget.

17th November 2010, I wrote in my journal: I want to treasure all of these in my heart. This is why I want to journal everything down, so that when my memory fails, I will not forget Your love and Your faithfulness, for this will be my reminder.

I also remembered how you smell like soap and fresh laundry.

p/s: I miss you really much :(

note to self:

1. Catch my breath.

2. Open textbook.

3. Turn on computer.

4. Do tutorial Qs.

It would be great, to sit on this fat boy, and sleep, or read a book.

I overpowered a grizzly bear!! *triumphant*

I'm sorry

Intense. Intense. Someone please tell me everything's gonna be alright.

The moment I realized I stepped on the accelerator and not the brake, my heart felt weak. I knocked into someone else's car bumper.

I day dream too much. I knocked into a stationary car. How noob can I be?

My mom saw an umbrella in the empty car. Brandon spotted a pair of ladies' shoes. The driver's a girl, we speculated.

I just wanted to tell her, "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

Please forgive me.

I was reminded of a song chorus.

"Cause I got a couple dents in my fender

Got a couple rips in my jeans

Try to fit the pieces together

But perfection is my enemy

On my own I'm so clumsy

But on Your shoulders I can see

I'm free to be me"

Francesca Battistelli, Free to be me.

Indeed on my own I'm so clumsy... :(

1. I've been stretched to my limits, 2. the frustrating traffic jam, 3. the Monash University parking lot which is always full and 4. my terrible driving skills. My heart felt weak.

I'm learning to still hold onto Him and trust Him in every circumstance.

I'm a butter worm

Best eaten with bread :P

that sense of touch

One day, I went into my Grandma's room and thought that little old lady looked really cheeky, almost like a mischievous kid. I ambushed her, giving her a big bear hug. She winked a bit, stretched out her only moving hand and brushed her fingers on my cheek. It was that touch. It made me feel loved.

One Sunday, I was ushering running kids around on the second floor of the church building, getting them ready for worship and games, as usual. A toddler named Evan came to me and held my hand, leading me to where he found a sticker stuck on the wall. Hands so small, so soft, and so warm. It was that touch. It made me feel wanted.

One Saturday, my 11 year old cousin came over to have me help her with her homework. She asked to brush my hair and do all sorts of fancy hairdo with my head. It was that touch. It made me feel beautiful.

One Saturday evening in January, Japheth gave me a brief goodbye hug before boarding the plane. It was that touch. I felt a sense of belonging, also hope.