Ebenezer

Thus far the Lord has helped us.

Samuel said to the whole house of Israel, "If you are returning to the Lord with all your hearts, then rid yourselves of the foreign gods and the Ashtoreths and commit yourselves to the Lord and serve him only, and He will deliver you out of the hands of the Philistines."

Israel did so.

And that day when the Philistines drew near to engage Israel to battle, the Lord thundered with loud thunder against the Philistines and threw them in such panic that they retreated disorderly before the Israelites. The men of Israel rushed out and pursued the Philistines, slaughtering them along the way.

Not too long ago, I felt there was so much to be done and I've exactly none of the time and capacity to accomplish everything in time. Physical fatigue is so real; making it hard to look at things on the bright side. Mental fatigue is so real; the blockage in the head can really wear me out.

And because all these are real. So real that I could touch it, feel it, and be ever aware of its presence. I think I lost myself. And when the walls started crumbling in, I thought, "Yes, this is it. Kthxbye."

Where are You, Lord? I hadn't bothered to ask that question. Too much work too little time. Even before I realised I was being sucked in, oh well, I was already sucked in.

I could only say, that in times of distress, what could be sadder than not knowing God is always in control of things? What could be sadder than not knowing God Himself?

I know God. And I acknowledge He's in control. But my eyes were so loosely fixed on Him that when the first wave hits, I scrambled back to the shore, grabbed hold of my own pathetic float, and swam my full might, eyes on the wind and the waves.

It felt hopeless.

Psalm 18 says God will fly all the way from His temple, on a cherub, gliding on the wings of wind, as soon as He hears my cries of distress. The earth will tremble and quake; the foundations of the mountain will shake - they trembled because He was angry, angry at the things that distressed me I think *wink!*

He will reach down from the on high and take hold of me. He will draw me out of deep waters. He will rescue me from my powerful enemies and my foes who were too strong for me. The Lord will be my support.

The overbearing workload has been lifted, although still present. Things are just different when you cry out, when you voice out. People came to help. Inspirations start to flow. He is great and I am small. What can I do then? Hide behind His back.

Who is Jesus to me?

I would say, He is my hero. He is my Help.

Ebenezer, thus far He has helped us. Thus far He has helped me.