I really hope that I'm that kinda person who is able to keep my emotions to myself. In fact, I notice this myself. When I'm happy, undeniably I speak with confidence, energy and I couldn't hide that big smile. When my emotions are on the contrary, apparently I look like I wanna kill anyone I see. Haha! Recently, I cried after being severedly scolded and accused by a customer. My supervisor defended me because obviously it wasn't my fault. However, there's this fear inside me that I cannot hide and I ended up crying in front of everyone after the customer left. This made me look so stupid and weak. Thanks to my inability to keep things to myself.
Recently I did something really mean to two girls. I was really upset and I guess I was really hostile to Lye Ying and 表妹. Sigh, sorry girls. Yes, another evidence of my inability to care for others. Thinking deeper, this links all the way back to selfishness. I'm unable to keep negative emotions to myself and affect others around. It's just plain selfish.
Apparently at times I feel that people don't care. I was expecting them to give me the same amount of attention I've given them. In the end, they make me feel that I'm not worth their time and attention. I'm learning not to bother. I'm learning to be strong.
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